Family Matters

susannelson • August 6, 2010

Last week my husband asked if we could arrange a weekend trip to Pennsylvania for a family reunion. When I stopped laughing and realized that he was serious, I started making plans.

Why the laughter? Let’s just say that his is not a close family – at least not compared to mine. I have a pretty big family, and while we don’t have family reunions, we do get together fairly often. When we see each other, we all hug and we give out that same round of hugs when we say goodbye. I met a few of my husband’s cousins and maybe an aunt and uncle about 17 years ago at a wedding reception. When we go to Pennsylvania to see his parents and sister, we never visit with any other family, even though many of them live in the same town.

We really didn’t know what to expect as we headed for the reunion location. I knew that his dad had four brothers, so we figured there might be 20 or 30 people at the most. Imagine our surprise when we find a large picnic shelter with at least 150 people, a big banner proclaiming the family reunion and someone making announcements over a sound system. This wasn’t the thrown-together picnic we expected. This was a well planned event.

Turns out they have been having this reunion on a fairly regular basis. Those attending come from my husband’s grandfather’s family. Apparently he had a lot of brothers and sisters, and almost each one had descendants who were present. The oldest was 91 and the youngest was six weeks old. My husband’s uncle was the first to greet me. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I don’t know who any of these people are either.” I think this might have been the first reunion where my father-in-law’s branch of the family showed up. As I said, they really aren’t a close bunch, though I think they genuinely care about one another. They just don’t want to spend a lot of time together. And they hate large gatherings.

My daughter was actually excited about attending the reunion. “Mom, I’ll get to meet a bunch of people that I’m related to and don’t even know,” she said. I can always count on her to put things in perspective. Whether we know them or not, they are family. I am a member by marriage, but she, like her dad, was in the blood line. Whether we chose to associate with them or not over the years, we were still a part of that lineage. If someone were to sit down and draw up the family tree, we would be one of the branches. It’s not like we can say, “just leave us out . . .   we don’t really know them.” Like it or not, we are all connected and nothing can change that – not even being antisocial.

Romans 12:4-5

Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

 

Many Christians try to keep their distance from their brothers and sisters in Christ. Some don’t go to church at all. Others want to come to church and go home without interacting with anyone or getting involved in the work of the church. They come in late so they don’t have to talk to anyone and they sit in the back. When they hear the preacher starting to close the service or perhaps getting ready to make an altar call, they make a quick and discreet exit. I am sure they have their reasons. Perhaps they have been hurt by people in the church, either the one they currently attend or at a previous one. Sadly, this happens too often. Or perhaps they are struggling in their walk with God and don’t feel like they can contribute anything. Or maybe they are just shy and don’t know how to get involved. Whatever the reason, their lack of participation doesn’t make them any less a member of the church.

 

1 Corinthians 12:14-16

Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body.

 

When you became a Christian (by asking Jesus Christ to be Lord of your life and to forgive your sin), you became a member of the body of Christ. Jesus is the Head and we are the body. You cannot say that you have a part in Christ but not a part in the body. If you have Christ in your life, then you are automatically a part of the body.

 

I Corinthians 12:21 

The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!"

 

You need your church family and they need you. You are a part of each other. When everyone works together and uses their gifts and talents, then you have a healthy, growing church body that can be about the Father’s business. When you don’t get involved and you don’t use the spiritual gifts and talents God has given you, then the church is struggling in its growth and ability to function. Think about a person who has a paralyzed limb or perhaps is blind. Other parts of his body have to work harder to compensate for these non-functioning ones. The person can still lead a happy, productive life, but it will be a little harder for him than most people. We know he could do so much more if all his body functioned the way it should.

 

I Corinthians 12:24-26

But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

 

We are supposed to be a unified body that loves and cares for one another. If you hurt, I hurt, too. If you rejoice, I rejoice. We have people who serve in roles: pastor, teacher, finance director, secretary, usher, worship leader, etc. These roles are crucial to the functioning of the church, but they do not make one person more important than another. Unfortunately, some people get in these roles and start exalting themselves and getting the big head. They are putting their egos above God’s work for them, and that is poison to the body. Or you get a person who thinks they are not important because they don’t have a title. They act jealous or sometimes they withdraw and pout because they don’t think they matter. That is equally damaging to the body. We all matter and we all have a place in the body of Christ – we just have to find it. Verse 18 of 1 Corinthians 12 says, “But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.”

 

Romans 12:10
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

 

I am very fortunate to have a wonderful, loving family. I have an equally wonderful and loving church family. One I was born into; the other I was reborn into. When I go to church, it’s just like a family get-together. We all greet and hug one another. We are happy to see each other and we share our lives. We work together to build up the church and each other and to serve the Lord. We come from different places and were born into different families, but we are now one family because we share the blood of Jesus Christ. We are his body and we are a part of each other. One day we will have the ultimate family reunion. That’s one I don’t want to miss! Will you be there?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

January 17, 2024
When you reach a certain age or stage in life, I think there is a natural tendency to look back on your life and reflect on how you got to where you are today. It makes you appreciate what you have. I had certainly found myself at that place in life, looking around and seeing how far we had come and how well we were doing. How good it was to feel secure and happy! It had not always been so easy. When we were first married, I was expecting to settle down in the place where I was born, among my own people, and raise a family, just as my mother had done. My husband had something completely different in mind. When he told me we were leaving our home to travel with his uncle to a new land, I was taken aback. Part of me was scared to leave the only place I had ever known, and the other part was caught up in excitement of it all. My husband believed that his uncle was hearing from the one true God, the Creator of the universe, and so he had also put his faith in this God. Because he believed, I believed. I can say that God did see us through on the journey, which was difficult at times. You try traveling with your family, a bunch of farm animals, and herdsmen. Even in the best of conditions, it was sweaty and smelly and exhausting. At one point, there was a famine in the land so bad that we had to travel to another area just to survive. Secretly, I questioned if we had made the wrong decision to leave home. There were many nights I cried myself to sleep. But, God brought us through it and we were able to return to the place God had called his uncle. All the while, God was blessing our family. My husband had acquired flocks and herdsman of his own. Pretty soon, there wasn’t enough room for all of us. Our herdsmen and his uncle’s herdsmen often quarreled. His uncle did not want these troubles to affect the family dynamic, so he suggested that we part ways and gave my husband first choice of which area to take. I was grateful to him for this kindness, and I must admit I was a little sad to leave what had become our family of wanderers. When I saw the beautiful, lush land where we were headed, I knew that the difficult journey had been worth it. We ended up living in the city of Sodom. We had settled in the community as strangers, but over time had built strong relationships with friends and associates. It wasn’t perfect, but what place is? What city doesn’t have crime or a seedier side? You learn what areas to stay out of and who to associate with if you want to stay out of trouble. We found our place there and raised our family. We had a nice home, and my husband was a leader in the community. Our daughters were to be married to fine young men and we had spent the better part of the year preparing them for their weddings. I also had gained the friendship and respect of other women, and we would often talk in the markets about our lives. I was so proud to talk about my husband and the upcoming weddings, and they were generous with their congratulations and well wishes. I couldn’t imagine our lives being any better. Our picture perfect life changed in less than 24 hours when two strangers arrived at the city gates. I guess it was no coincidence that my husband was sitting in the gateway of the city that evening. He invited them to spend the night in our home, which surprised me. I have say that there was something different about them. They weren’t the typical visitors who passed through our area who usually knew what to expect if they spent an evening in the town square, if you know what I mean. I knew our city had a reputation. I had always looked the other way, knowing things happened in the dark of night that were wrong in the eyes of God. I figured it was none of my business and it wasn’t my problem. I lived my life and they lived theirs. The events that happened that night happened so fast. It was surreal. I couldn’t believe it was happening. Our home was suddenly surrounded by men, young and old, who demanded we give our visitors over to them. My husband tried to reason with them. He even had the nerve to offer them our daughters, which really angered me at the time. I was ready to kill him myself. Quickly, the two visitors stepped in and rescued my husband from the crowd. Then the oddest thing happened. The men outside our home were suddenly struck blind and they went away, stumbling about. I was beginning to understand that these visitors of ours were more than they seemed. That’s when they told us they had come to destroy the city and we needed leave as soon as possible. My husband went to our daughter’s fiancés and begged them to come with us, telling them that God was going to destroy the city. They laughed, thinking he was joking. Who jokes about something like that? As the sun was getting ready to rise, the two men urged us to leave right away so that we would not be destroyed, too. It still had not registered with me that this was happening. Everything was quiet and still, so how could we be in imminent danger? How could we just leave? We needed to gather up food and clothing and things we would need to travel. We needed time to get ready. My husband and I just looked at each other, not knowing where to start. Suddenly, I felt a hand grab mine. One of the men had me by the hand and my husband by the other. The second man likewise had taken our daughters hands. They began rushing us out of the city, telling us to run and not look back or we would be swept away in the destruction. What destruction? I did not see or hear anything that made me think we were in danger. They wanted us to go to the mountains, but my husband begged to let us go to a smaller city far enough away from the danger. They agreed and said the destruction would begin as soon as we could get there. We ran for what seemed like forever. I didn’t know my old body could still do that. It still seemed like a bad dream, and that I would wake up soon and be back in my beautiful home. Then I heard the first rumble and felt the earth shake beneath my feet. The smell of smoke and something that smelled like rotten eggs filled my nostrils. I was getting tired from running. My husband and my girls where just ahead of me, entering the city of Zoar. I stopped to rest for a moment and I started to cry. How could we be here in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but the clothes on our back? Why did we have to leave our wonderful home where we had everything we needed? What about all the things we had collected for our daughters’ weddings? Why couldn’t we have saved some of those things. I wanted my life back. Without thinking, I turned around and looked at the city I had called home. Everyone and everything I knew was being pummeled in a rain of fire. As my family safely made it inside the little town of Zoar, I was still just on the outskirts. I stood there in the aftershocks of the fiery storm, grieving the life I had left behind. I realized my mistake too late as I felt the wave of heat and grit begin to take over my body. If only I had listened to the two men. If only I had trusted that God would take care of me in this situation, just as He had in the past. If only I had not looked back. Luke 17:32 - Remember Lot’s wife. If “Jesus wept” is the shortest verse in the Bible (John 11:35), then Luke 17:32 has to be the second shortest. More importantly, these words are in red, meaning Jesus spoke them. “Remember Lot’s wife, “ He cautions. “Lot’s wife” is all we know her by, and what we know about her is found in Genesis 19. Most people just remember that she turned into a pillar of salt. What we need to remember is why. The Hebrew word for “looked back” means more than just the physical act of glancing back over one’s shoulder. It means to regard, consider, or pay attention to something. She was not so much looking back with her eyes as she was with her heart. In that moment, as imagined in the passage above, she had more regard for what she was leaving behind than in the provision God had made ahead of her. She loved and appreciated the things of the world and her earthly treasures more than the divine deliverance that was provided to her. Even though she did not commit the same sins that had brought about this judgment, her heart was with the city and all things worldly, and so she suffered its same fate. In Luke 17, Jesus is cautioning the disciples, and us, to not make the same mistake. Luke 17:26-33 - 26 And as it was in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man: 27 They ate, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all. 28 Likewise as it was also in the days of Lot: They ate, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they built; 29 but on the day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven and destroyed them all. 30 Even so will it be in the day when the Son of Man is revealed. 31 “In that day, he who is on the housetop, and his goods are in the house, let him not come down to take them away. And likewise the one who is in the field, let him not turn back. 32 Remember Lot’s wife. 33 Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it. A quote attributed to Alexander Graham Bell says, “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” Such was the fate of Lot’s wife. Such could be our fate if we are not careful. We cannot harshly judge Lot’s wife, knowing how easily the same thing could happen to us. We can find ourselves living comfortably, confident in our position in life, and relying on our material possessions, if we are not careful to remember the true Provider. It isn’t a bad thing to have material possessions, but it is a wrong attitude if we value the things of the world more than we value the things of God.  When you hear someone say, “Jesus is coming soon”, do you laugh like Lot’s son-in-laws, or do you start looking up and watching for Him? Just like Lot tried to warn his son-in-laws, we need to let our family and friends know that He is coming. As Christians, we should be ready to drop everything when He comes for us, and not look back for anyone or anything. There is nothing we are leaving behind that is better or more important than being with Jesus. When that day comes, just like it came for Sodom, we have to be ready for our divine deliverance from this world. If we dare to look back, we could be left behind. Remember Lot’s wife, and don’t look back.
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