Let Them Go

susannelson • August 20, 2010

The world celebrates a new year each January. But those of us with children live by a different calendar. For us, a new year starts on the first day of school. Everything is new: new grade, new teachers, new friends, and sometimes a new school. It also means it is time for new backpacks, new shoes and clothes, and new supplies.

 

School years serve as milestones for our children. Life changes when they enter kindergarten. We’ve had them all to ourselves for five years, and then we have to turn them over to someone else for a while. We ask ourselves, where did the time go? It seems like only yesterday they were sweet, snuggly newborns in our arms. Letting go is scary for both you and your child, but it has to be done.

 

When my child was in kindergarten, she cried every day . . . until February. Every day I had to take her into the school and hand her over to the kindergarten aide. (I love that woman – she was my hero!) She would be crying and reaching for me and I just had to walk away. It was heartbreaking. Then one day in February as we pulled up to the school she said, “I think I will walk in by myself today.” I nearly wrecked the car! But I didn’t make a big deal out of it. I told her that would be fine and gave her a hug and kiss. As I watched her walk into the school, I began to cry. They were tears of relief and joy. My little girl was growing up.

 

Elementary school was a lot of fun. The toothless years were especially good. There is nothing cuter than a kid missing his or her front teeth. Around third grade things start to change as they transition from little kid to big kid. Next thing you know, you have a tall, gangly fifth grader who is torn between being a kid and being a teenager.

 

Then comes middle school. Nobody wants their child to go to middle school, but unfortunately there isn’t an alternative unless you want to home school them. (No thank you! I like my sanity!) What’s wrong with middle school? Nothing really -- we just don’t like it. It’s a bigger school for one thing. In elementary school, parents could drop by and talk to teachers, volunteer in the classroom, and bring in treats. You felt like you were part of a family. In middle school, neither the school nor your kids want you hanging around.

 

Deuteronomy 6:6-8

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

 

Parents are also concerned about the influence of the older students on the younger. Should a sixth grader be around an eighth grader? Middle school introduces them to a whole new world, and that world involves things like drugs and sex and cursing. If you haven’t already been talking to your child about these things you are way behind. If they don’t learn it from you they will learn about it from their friends. Friends are everything to a teenager, so you better be sure you know who your kids’ friends are. And let’s be honest: the real reason we worry about our kids in middle school and high school is that we know what we were doing at that age! We survived and so will they, by the grace of God.

 

 

Proverbs 20:11

Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.

 

This year my daughter will be an eighth grader. Now that she is that age, eighth graders don’t seem so bad. Isn’t it funny how our perspective changes? Looking back, I can’t believe she has two years of middle school behind her. Sixth grade nearly killed me, but seventh was a great year. She has grown and matured so much these last two years. She is becoming more responsible and more helpful. I try not to look too shocked when she offers to do something for me instead of me having to tell her a million times to do it. I watch how she interacts with her friends and with other adults and I am pleased. We must have done something right.

 

I don’t want to talk about going to high school . . . I am not ready for that yet! But I know I will be when the time comes. God will prepare me and He will help me prepare her. Don’t rush things. Enjoy where you are now and go with it. Let them go and watch them soar! And when they crash from time to time, you will be there to lift them up again.

 

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

 

My friends and I have been lamenting about our children growing up and moving on to a new stage in life. I have some friends with kindergarteners who are just getting started. Others are getting ready for their first step into middle school or high school or college. It is a wonderful, anxious, scary and bittersweet time. God gave us these children and it’s our job to grow them up. Much as we would like sometimes to keep them little and keep them close, it can’t be done. Time and biology are against us. They are going to grow up and move on and we can’t stop it from happening. But if we have done our jobs as parents, they will be prepared. We have to trust God and trust ourselves and trust our children.

 

***

 

Proverbs 6:20-23

20 My son, keep your father's commands
       and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

  21 Bind them upon your heart forever;
       fasten them around your neck.

  22 When you walk, they will guide you;
       when you sleep, they will watch over you;
       when you awake, they will speak to you.

  23 For these commands are a lamp,
       this teaching is a light,
       and the corrections of discipline
       are the way to life,

***
School is starting. Please pray for our school children and for the teachers and staff.

 

 

January 17, 2024
When you reach a certain age or stage in life, I think there is a natural tendency to look back on your life and reflect on how you got to where you are today. It makes you appreciate what you have. I had certainly found myself at that place in life, looking around and seeing how far we had come and how well we were doing. How good it was to feel secure and happy! It had not always been so easy. When we were first married, I was expecting to settle down in the place where I was born, among my own people, and raise a family, just as my mother had done. My husband had something completely different in mind. When he told me we were leaving our home to travel with his uncle to a new land, I was taken aback. Part of me was scared to leave the only place I had ever known, and the other part was caught up in excitement of it all. My husband believed that his uncle was hearing from the one true God, the Creator of the universe, and so he had also put his faith in this God. Because he believed, I believed. I can say that God did see us through on the journey, which was difficult at times. You try traveling with your family, a bunch of farm animals, and herdsmen. Even in the best of conditions, it was sweaty and smelly and exhausting. At one point, there was a famine in the land so bad that we had to travel to another area just to survive. Secretly, I questioned if we had made the wrong decision to leave home. There were many nights I cried myself to sleep. But, God brought us through it and we were able to return to the place God had called his uncle. All the while, God was blessing our family. My husband had acquired flocks and herdsman of his own. Pretty soon, there wasn’t enough room for all of us. Our herdsmen and his uncle’s herdsmen often quarreled. His uncle did not want these troubles to affect the family dynamic, so he suggested that we part ways and gave my husband first choice of which area to take. I was grateful to him for this kindness, and I must admit I was a little sad to leave what had become our family of wanderers. When I saw the beautiful, lush land where we were headed, I knew that the difficult journey had been worth it. We ended up living in the city of Sodom. We had settled in the community as strangers, but over time had built strong relationships with friends and associates. It wasn’t perfect, but what place is? What city doesn’t have crime or a seedier side? You learn what areas to stay out of and who to associate with if you want to stay out of trouble. We found our place there and raised our family. We had a nice home, and my husband was a leader in the community. Our daughters were to be married to fine young men and we had spent the better part of the year preparing them for their weddings. I also had gained the friendship and respect of other women, and we would often talk in the markets about our lives. I was so proud to talk about my husband and the upcoming weddings, and they were generous with their congratulations and well wishes. I couldn’t imagine our lives being any better. Our picture perfect life changed in less than 24 hours when two strangers arrived at the city gates. I guess it was no coincidence that my husband was sitting in the gateway of the city that evening. He invited them to spend the night in our home, which surprised me. I have say that there was something different about them. They weren’t the typical visitors who passed through our area who usually knew what to expect if they spent an evening in the town square, if you know what I mean. I knew our city had a reputation. I had always looked the other way, knowing things happened in the dark of night that were wrong in the eyes of God. I figured it was none of my business and it wasn’t my problem. I lived my life and they lived theirs. The events that happened that night happened so fast. It was surreal. I couldn’t believe it was happening. Our home was suddenly surrounded by men, young and old, who demanded we give our visitors over to them. My husband tried to reason with them. He even had the nerve to offer them our daughters, which really angered me at the time. I was ready to kill him myself. Quickly, the two visitors stepped in and rescued my husband from the crowd. Then the oddest thing happened. The men outside our home were suddenly struck blind and they went away, stumbling about. I was beginning to understand that these visitors of ours were more than they seemed. That’s when they told us they had come to destroy the city and we needed leave as soon as possible. My husband went to our daughter’s fiancés and begged them to come with us, telling them that God was going to destroy the city. They laughed, thinking he was joking. Who jokes about something like that? As the sun was getting ready to rise, the two men urged us to leave right away so that we would not be destroyed, too. It still had not registered with me that this was happening. Everything was quiet and still, so how could we be in imminent danger? How could we just leave? We needed to gather up food and clothing and things we would need to travel. We needed time to get ready. My husband and I just looked at each other, not knowing where to start. Suddenly, I felt a hand grab mine. One of the men had me by the hand and my husband by the other. The second man likewise had taken our daughters hands. They began rushing us out of the city, telling us to run and not look back or we would be swept away in the destruction. What destruction? I did not see or hear anything that made me think we were in danger. They wanted us to go to the mountains, but my husband begged to let us go to a smaller city far enough away from the danger. They agreed and said the destruction would begin as soon as we could get there. We ran for what seemed like forever. I didn’t know my old body could still do that. It still seemed like a bad dream, and that I would wake up soon and be back in my beautiful home. Then I heard the first rumble and felt the earth shake beneath my feet. The smell of smoke and something that smelled like rotten eggs filled my nostrils. I was getting tired from running. My husband and my girls where just ahead of me, entering the city of Zoar. I stopped to rest for a moment and I started to cry. How could we be here in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but the clothes on our back? Why did we have to leave our wonderful home where we had everything we needed? What about all the things we had collected for our daughters’ weddings? Why couldn’t we have saved some of those things. I wanted my life back. Without thinking, I turned around and looked at the city I had called home. Everyone and everything I knew was being pummeled in a rain of fire. As my family safely made it inside the little town of Zoar, I was still just on the outskirts. I stood there in the aftershocks of the fiery storm, grieving the life I had left behind. I realized my mistake too late as I felt the wave of heat and grit begin to take over my body. If only I had listened to the two men. If only I had trusted that God would take care of me in this situation, just as He had in the past. If only I had not looked back. Luke 17:32 - Remember Lot’s wife. If “Jesus wept” is the shortest verse in the Bible (John 11:35), then Luke 17:32 has to be the second shortest. More importantly, these words are in red, meaning Jesus spoke them. “Remember Lot’s wife, “ He cautions. “Lot’s wife” is all we know her by, and what we know about her is found in Genesis 19. Most people just remember that she turned into a pillar of salt. What we need to remember is why. The Hebrew word for “looked back” means more than just the physical act of glancing back over one’s shoulder. It means to regard, consider, or pay attention to something. She was not so much looking back with her eyes as she was with her heart. In that moment, as imagined in the passage above, she had more regard for what she was leaving behind than in the provision God had made ahead of her. She loved and appreciated the things of the world and her earthly treasures more than the divine deliverance that was provided to her. Even though she did not commit the same sins that had brought about this judgment, her heart was with the city and all things worldly, and so she suffered its same fate. In Luke 17, Jesus is cautioning the disciples, and us, to not make the same mistake. Luke 17:26-33 - 26 And as it was in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man: 27 They ate, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all. 28 Likewise as it was also in the days of Lot: They ate, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they built; 29 but on the day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven and destroyed them all. 30 Even so will it be in the day when the Son of Man is revealed. 31 “In that day, he who is on the housetop, and his goods are in the house, let him not come down to take them away. And likewise the one who is in the field, let him not turn back. 32 Remember Lot’s wife. 33 Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it. A quote attributed to Alexander Graham Bell says, “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” Such was the fate of Lot’s wife. Such could be our fate if we are not careful. We cannot harshly judge Lot’s wife, knowing how easily the same thing could happen to us. We can find ourselves living comfortably, confident in our position in life, and relying on our material possessions, if we are not careful to remember the true Provider. It isn’t a bad thing to have material possessions, but it is a wrong attitude if we value the things of the world more than we value the things of God.  When you hear someone say, “Jesus is coming soon”, do you laugh like Lot’s son-in-laws, or do you start looking up and watching for Him? Just like Lot tried to warn his son-in-laws, we need to let our family and friends know that He is coming. As Christians, we should be ready to drop everything when He comes for us, and not look back for anyone or anything. There is nothing we are leaving behind that is better or more important than being with Jesus. When that day comes, just like it came for Sodom, we have to be ready for our divine deliverance from this world. If we dare to look back, we could be left behind. Remember Lot’s wife, and don’t look back.
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