School years serve as milestones for our children. Life changes when they enter kindergarten. We’ve had them all to ourselves for five years, and then we have to turn them over to someone else for a while. We ask ourselves, where did the time go? It seems like only yesterday they were sweet, snuggly newborns in our arms. Letting go is scary for both you and your child, but it has to be done.
When my child was in kindergarten, she cried every day . . . until February. Every day I had to take her into the school and hand her over to the kindergarten aide. (I love that woman – she was my hero!) She would be crying and reaching for me and I just had to walk away. It was heartbreaking. Then one day in February as we pulled up to the school she said, “I think I will walk in by myself today.” I nearly wrecked the car! But I didn’t make a big deal out of it. I told her that would be fine and gave her a hug and kiss. As I watched her walk into the school, I began to cry. They were tears of relief and joy. My little girl was growing up.
Elementary school was a lot of fun. The toothless years were especially good. There is nothing cuter than a kid missing his or her front teeth. Around third grade things start to change as they transition from little kid to big kid. Next thing you know, you have a tall, gangly fifth grader who is torn between being a kid and being a teenager.
Then comes middle school. Nobody wants their child to go to middle school, but unfortunately there isn’t an alternative unless you want to home school them. (No thank you! I like my sanity!) What’s wrong with middle school? Nothing really -- we just don’t like it. It’s a bigger school for one thing. In elementary school, parents could drop by and talk to teachers, volunteer in the classroom, and bring in treats. You felt like you were part of a family. In middle school, neither the school nor your kids want you hanging around.
Deuteronomy 6:6-8
These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Parents are also concerned about the influence of the older students on the younger. Should a sixth grader be around an eighth grader? Middle school introduces them to a whole new world, and that world involves things like drugs and sex and cursing. If you haven’t already been talking to your child about these things you are way behind. If they don’t learn it from you they will learn about it from their friends. Friends are everything to a teenager, so you better be sure you know who your kids’ friends are. And let’s be honest: the real reason we worry about our kids in middle school and high school is that we know what we were doing at that age! We survived and so will they, by the grace of God.
Proverbs 20:11
Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.
This year my daughter will be an eighth grader. Now that she is that age, eighth graders don’t seem so bad. Isn’t it funny how our perspective changes? Looking back, I can’t believe she has two years of middle school behind her. Sixth grade nearly killed me, but seventh was a great year. She has grown and matured so much these last two years. She is becoming more responsible and more helpful. I try not to look too shocked when she offers to do something for me instead of me having to tell her a million times to do it. I watch how she interacts with her friends and with other adults and I am pleased. We must have done something right.
I don’t want to talk about going to high school . . . I am not ready for that yet! But I know I will be when the time comes. God will prepare me and He will help me prepare her. Don’t rush things. Enjoy where you are now and go with it. Let them go and watch them soar! And when they crash from time to time, you will be there to lift them up again.
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
My friends and I have been lamenting about our children growing up and moving on to a new stage in life. I have some friends with kindergarteners who are just getting started. Others are getting ready for their first step into middle school or high school or college. It is a wonderful, anxious, scary and bittersweet time. God gave us these children and it’s our job to grow them up. Much as we would like sometimes to keep them little and keep them close, it can’t be done. Time and biology are against us. They are going to grow up and move on and we can’t stop it from happening. But if we have done our jobs as parents, they will be prepared. We have to trust God and trust ourselves and trust our children.
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Proverbs 6:20-23
20
My son, keep your father's commands
and do not forsake your mother's teaching.
21
Bind them upon your heart forever;
fasten them around your neck.
22
When you walk, they will guide you;
when you sleep, they will watch over you;
when you awake, they will speak to you.
23
For these commands are a lamp,
this teaching is a light,
and the corrections of discipline
are the way to life,
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School is starting. Please pray for our school children and for the teachers and staff.