Self Worth Balance
About every other week I work in the nursery at church, either in the morning or the evening service. Working the evening service is nice when you've had a busy week. The kids are usually a little more tired (like me) and ready to settle in for the evening. We usually put on a movie and have a snack and get comfortable.
Last week's movie was a Veggie Tales cartoon called "A Snoodle's Tale." I love Veggie Tales, but I had not seen this particular story. A young snoodle named Snoodle Doo is "born" on the fourth Tuesday. He discovers he has wings and has been given a backpack filled with art supplies and a kazoo. He guesses that he must have artistic and musical talent and makes his first efforts with both. Older snoodles who see his first artwork and hear his first attempts at music laugh and criticize him. Like a baby bird, he tries out his wings for the first time and doesn't get far. The older snoodles again laugh and ridicule his effort. They even draw pictures of his failures and put them in his backpack for future reference in case he forgets how bad he is at these things.
The young snoodle feels the pain of their rejection, counts himself a failure and leaves the community. He can't get past the things that they said about him. Their words and their view of his abilities weigh him down and he can barely move forward. Then he sees the finches flying over
The story was subtitled "a lesson in self worth." Self worth is one of those areas where you want to maintain a healthy balance. If you have too much self worth, you can become conceited, judgmental and overconfident. You run the risk of thinking you don't need anyone - including God. Too little self worth can be equally as bad. You can become depressed, defeated and unsure of yourself. You might start to believe that you aren't worthy of anyone's love - including God's. Somehow we have to walk in that middle ground where we are both confident in who we are in God's eyes and yet humble enough to know that we can't do anything without Him. It can be pretty tricky.
Hebrews 3:13
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called "Today," so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.
Think about your self worth as a bank account. When we have encouragement and positive interactions with others, it builds up our account. It is invested in our lives and we can invest it in others by being encouragers, as well. In doing, so we maintain a healthy balance in our account.
Then one day, someone comes along who is not so encouraging or we have a negative encounter. If we are not careful, we can let that wipe out our balance and perhaps even overdraw our account. It knocks our feet out from under us. It takes our breath. Like the little snoodle, it weighs heavy on our hearts. The hurt immobilizes us. We can't get over it and we can't move on. We forget who we are, and instead, we believe someone else's report. Why is it if 10 people saying we are doing great and one person thinks we shouldn't have bothered getting out of bed that day, we listen to that one person?
Job 20:2-3
"My troubled thoughts prompt me to answer because I am greatly disturbed. I hear a rebuke that dishonors me, and my understanding inspires me to reply.
Our first reaction to someone's harsh words is to return fire. That usually doesn't work out very well. If you add fuel to a fire, you get a bigger fire. Learning how to respond in situations where someone is being negative or confrontational isn't easy. It takes time and a growing maturity. But if you have built your self worth and invested it properly, nothing anyone says can take it away from you.
We take on the labels that other people give us instead of handing them back and saying, "no thank you, that's not who I am." I see this often among the kids in our after school program. Child A comes to me and says that Child B called him a liar. I ask Child A if he lied, and he says that he didn't. I tell Child A that if he didn't tell a lie, then he isn't a liar, regardless of what Child B says. Then we go find Child B and the two of them talk things out. Five minutes later they are playing together like nothing ever happened. If it were always that easy with grown-ups!
James 3:9-10
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.
It was no coincident that I watched that particular Veggie Tales show that day. I had spent the previous several days nursing the wounds of a verbal confrontation. Through a little snoodle's tale, God reminded me of how He sees me. He reminded me to check my self-worth balance and see all the blessings that were deposited there. I began to recall scriptures about how no weapon formed against me shall prosper, that I am the head and not the tail and that nothing can separate me from the love of God. I started to feel better and stronger.
As long as there are people, there is going to be conflict. There are going to be people who hit below the belt with personal attacks, name calling and maligning of character. (Sounds like the writers of this year's political ads, doesn't it?) However, when we respond in a Godly manner, we can protect our self-worth and bring peace to the situation. It is way harder than it sounds. It means doing things like forgiving those who hurt us. It means praying for them and doing good for them. That's usually the last thing on our minds when someone is in our face and telling us off. Remain calm, and remember who you are in God. Remember how He sees you. You are worth everything to Him. After all, He gave His only Son -- that through His death and resurrection you may have eternal life. Deposit that in your account!
