Offenses Will Come

susannelson • September 15, 2015

Proverbs 18:19 -- A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city,

The year isn't quite over, but 2015 has already been dubbed "the year everyone was offended by everything." An Alabama army officer was inspired by this trend to write a Facebook post he dubbed "I am offended that everyone is offended by something." It went viral after he posted it, and he was even featured on Fox News. In the article, he pointed out some social injustices and important issues that need to be addressed. Here area a couple of examples from Jordan Thompson's post:

I'm offended by people who vote for a person based on the party they represent, the race or gender, age or a religion of a candidate... instead of how the candidate proposes to address each issue, respectively.

I'm offended by people who aren't open minded and think they're always right, no matter what.

I get what he was trying to say, but I think that we should consider what it really means to be offended. Some things irk me, but I am not necessarily offended by them. For example, it seems incredible to me as well that people will vote a straight party ticket instead of considering each candidate's views and positions. It troubles me, but it doesn't offend me. Like Thompson, I am often frustrated, when someone isn't willing to see something from another perspective and consider other options, but I am not offended. When I think about being offended, I think of something personal that hurts my feelings, makes me feel de-valued, disrespects me or someone I love, or insults my character or the character of someone I love.

The dictionary lists several definitions for offend. One is to hurt or cause pain to. Another is to irritate, annoy, or anger; cause resentful displeasure in. A key word in that definition is resentful. These are things that people say or do which really get under our skin and incite an immediate reaction. In other words, it will get a rise out of you, and that's where we get in trouble. For example, if someone treated me differently or unfairly because I am a woman or addressed me with a derogatory name, I would be offended by that, and rightly so. If I weren't offended hurt, annoyed, irritated -- by this unkind treatment, something would be wrong with me. We have a standard of what is socially acceptable interaction with others (and even that varies among groups of people), and when someone crosses the line, it affects us. We can't control what others say or do, but we can control how we respond to the offensive remarks or treatment. Our first reaction may be to blow up on the person and let loose with our own name calling and expletives. Others take the more passive approach by internalizing their feelings and allowing resentment and bitterness to grow within them. The better options are to address the matter directly, in a non-confrontational way if possible, or to just walk away and let it go. One of the Fruits of the Spirit from Galatians 5 is longsuffering, the long and patient endurance of injury, trouble or provocation.

Ephesians 4:26-27 -- Be angry, and do not sin" : do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.

I am not saying that you shouldn't stand up for yourself or your beliefs, just that you should pick your battles. Sometimes the best thing to do is walk away and pray for that person and the situation. Recently, someone made a snide comment to me that did hurt my feelings, and I was offended. I mean it really burned my behind. It wasn't the first time it has happened and it probably won't be the last. I started speaking and then stopped myself, because I knew I was too angry to be saying anything. Much as I wanted to let this person have it, I employed the fruits of self-control and longsuffering and bit my tongue. I knew it would do no good to respond and there would be no "talking it out". I stewed over it all night, tossing and turning before I finally just gave it over to the Lord. I realized the next day that the person had certainly not thought another second about it. That confirmed what I already knew -- I had to forgive and move on.

Ephesians 4:31-32 -- Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Another definition for offend is listed as: (in Biblical use) to cause to fall into sinful ways. In Luke 17:1-2 it says: Then He said to the disciples, "It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones." The word offense in this passage is from the Greek work "skandalon", which was the trigger of a baited trap or a stumbling block. Jesus is saying woe to those who cause others to stumble and sin. This is why preachers and teachers are accountable to God for every word they speak. This is why it says "If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men" (Romans 12:18). This is why our mothers used to tell us if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

Romans 12:17 -- Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men.

Jesus acknowledged that offenses will come and it should not come as a surprise when it happens to us. How we respond to an offense is directly related to how far we are in our relationship with Christ. It will reveal the condition of our heart, for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks (Matthew 12:34). If we let an offense get to us, then we may have a reaction that causes us, and perhaps others, to sin. Two wrongs do not make a right. We either rise above the situation, or we sink to the same level (or lower) as the person who has offended us. We have to put on the armor of God every day, using our shield of faith to deflect those fiery darts and yielding the sword of the Sprit to bring the word of truth to the situation. These moments actually give us an opportunity to live what we believe and share the love of Christ. A kind and loving response will likely be unexpected and will certainly leave the person something to think about.

The things that have offended people in 2015 have cause great division among the people of this nation. We've seen black vs. white, straight vs. gay, gun lovers vs. gun haters, Republicans vs. Democrats, rich vs. poor, cops vs. citizens, Christians vs. non-Christians. In Matthew 12:25 it says: But Jesus knew their thoughts, and said to them: "Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand." We have to get away from political correctness and being so easily offended. The more we are divided by issues, big or small, the weaker we become as a nation. Offenses will come, but woe to those through whom they come!

January 17, 2024
When you reach a certain age or stage in life, I think there is a natural tendency to look back on your life and reflect on how you got to where you are today. It makes you appreciate what you have. I had certainly found myself at that place in life, looking around and seeing how far we had come and how well we were doing. How good it was to feel secure and happy! It had not always been so easy. When we were first married, I was expecting to settle down in the place where I was born, among my own people, and raise a family, just as my mother had done. My husband had something completely different in mind. When he told me we were leaving our home to travel with his uncle to a new land, I was taken aback. Part of me was scared to leave the only place I had ever known, and the other part was caught up in excitement of it all. My husband believed that his uncle was hearing from the one true God, the Creator of the universe, and so he had also put his faith in this God. Because he believed, I believed. I can say that God did see us through on the journey, which was difficult at times. You try traveling with your family, a bunch of farm animals, and herdsmen. Even in the best of conditions, it was sweaty and smelly and exhausting. At one point, there was a famine in the land so bad that we had to travel to another area just to survive. Secretly, I questioned if we had made the wrong decision to leave home. There were many nights I cried myself to sleep. But, God brought us through it and we were able to return to the place God had called his uncle. All the while, God was blessing our family. My husband had acquired flocks and herdsman of his own. Pretty soon, there wasn’t enough room for all of us. Our herdsmen and his uncle’s herdsmen often quarreled. His uncle did not want these troubles to affect the family dynamic, so he suggested that we part ways and gave my husband first choice of which area to take. I was grateful to him for this kindness, and I must admit I was a little sad to leave what had become our family of wanderers. When I saw the beautiful, lush land where we were headed, I knew that the difficult journey had been worth it. We ended up living in the city of Sodom. We had settled in the community as strangers, but over time had built strong relationships with friends and associates. It wasn’t perfect, but what place is? What city doesn’t have crime or a seedier side? You learn what areas to stay out of and who to associate with if you want to stay out of trouble. We found our place there and raised our family. We had a nice home, and my husband was a leader in the community. Our daughters were to be married to fine young men and we had spent the better part of the year preparing them for their weddings. I also had gained the friendship and respect of other women, and we would often talk in the markets about our lives. I was so proud to talk about my husband and the upcoming weddings, and they were generous with their congratulations and well wishes. I couldn’t imagine our lives being any better. Our picture perfect life changed in less than 24 hours when two strangers arrived at the city gates. I guess it was no coincidence that my husband was sitting in the gateway of the city that evening. He invited them to spend the night in our home, which surprised me. I have say that there was something different about them. They weren’t the typical visitors who passed through our area who usually knew what to expect if they spent an evening in the town square, if you know what I mean. I knew our city had a reputation. I had always looked the other way, knowing things happened in the dark of night that were wrong in the eyes of God. I figured it was none of my business and it wasn’t my problem. I lived my life and they lived theirs. The events that happened that night happened so fast. It was surreal. I couldn’t believe it was happening. Our home was suddenly surrounded by men, young and old, who demanded we give our visitors over to them. My husband tried to reason with them. He even had the nerve to offer them our daughters, which really angered me at the time. I was ready to kill him myself. Quickly, the two visitors stepped in and rescued my husband from the crowd. Then the oddest thing happened. The men outside our home were suddenly struck blind and they went away, stumbling about. I was beginning to understand that these visitors of ours were more than they seemed. That’s when they told us they had come to destroy the city and we needed leave as soon as possible. My husband went to our daughter’s fiancés and begged them to come with us, telling them that God was going to destroy the city. They laughed, thinking he was joking. Who jokes about something like that? As the sun was getting ready to rise, the two men urged us to leave right away so that we would not be destroyed, too. It still had not registered with me that this was happening. Everything was quiet and still, so how could we be in imminent danger? How could we just leave? We needed to gather up food and clothing and things we would need to travel. We needed time to get ready. My husband and I just looked at each other, not knowing where to start. Suddenly, I felt a hand grab mine. One of the men had me by the hand and my husband by the other. The second man likewise had taken our daughters hands. They began rushing us out of the city, telling us to run and not look back or we would be swept away in the destruction. What destruction? I did not see or hear anything that made me think we were in danger. They wanted us to go to the mountains, but my husband begged to let us go to a smaller city far enough away from the danger. They agreed and said the destruction would begin as soon as we could get there. We ran for what seemed like forever. I didn’t know my old body could still do that. It still seemed like a bad dream, and that I would wake up soon and be back in my beautiful home. Then I heard the first rumble and felt the earth shake beneath my feet. The smell of smoke and something that smelled like rotten eggs filled my nostrils. I was getting tired from running. My husband and my girls where just ahead of me, entering the city of Zoar. I stopped to rest for a moment and I started to cry. How could we be here in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but the clothes on our back? Why did we have to leave our wonderful home where we had everything we needed? What about all the things we had collected for our daughters’ weddings? Why couldn’t we have saved some of those things. I wanted my life back. Without thinking, I turned around and looked at the city I had called home. Everyone and everything I knew was being pummeled in a rain of fire. As my family safely made it inside the little town of Zoar, I was still just on the outskirts. I stood there in the aftershocks of the fiery storm, grieving the life I had left behind. I realized my mistake too late as I felt the wave of heat and grit begin to take over my body. If only I had listened to the two men. If only I had trusted that God would take care of me in this situation, just as He had in the past. If only I had not looked back. Luke 17:32 - Remember Lot’s wife. If “Jesus wept” is the shortest verse in the Bible (John 11:35), then Luke 17:32 has to be the second shortest. More importantly, these words are in red, meaning Jesus spoke them. “Remember Lot’s wife, “ He cautions. “Lot’s wife” is all we know her by, and what we know about her is found in Genesis 19. Most people just remember that she turned into a pillar of salt. What we need to remember is why. The Hebrew word for “looked back” means more than just the physical act of glancing back over one’s shoulder. It means to regard, consider, or pay attention to something. She was not so much looking back with her eyes as she was with her heart. In that moment, as imagined in the passage above, she had more regard for what she was leaving behind than in the provision God had made ahead of her. She loved and appreciated the things of the world and her earthly treasures more than the divine deliverance that was provided to her. Even though she did not commit the same sins that had brought about this judgment, her heart was with the city and all things worldly, and so she suffered its same fate. In Luke 17, Jesus is cautioning the disciples, and us, to not make the same mistake. Luke 17:26-33 - 26 And as it was in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man: 27 They ate, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all. 28 Likewise as it was also in the days of Lot: They ate, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they built; 29 but on the day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven and destroyed them all. 30 Even so will it be in the day when the Son of Man is revealed. 31 “In that day, he who is on the housetop, and his goods are in the house, let him not come down to take them away. And likewise the one who is in the field, let him not turn back. 32 Remember Lot’s wife. 33 Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it. A quote attributed to Alexander Graham Bell says, “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” Such was the fate of Lot’s wife. Such could be our fate if we are not careful. We cannot harshly judge Lot’s wife, knowing how easily the same thing could happen to us. We can find ourselves living comfortably, confident in our position in life, and relying on our material possessions, if we are not careful to remember the true Provider. It isn’t a bad thing to have material possessions, but it is a wrong attitude if we value the things of the world more than we value the things of God.  When you hear someone say, “Jesus is coming soon”, do you laugh like Lot’s son-in-laws, or do you start looking up and watching for Him? Just like Lot tried to warn his son-in-laws, we need to let our family and friends know that He is coming. As Christians, we should be ready to drop everything when He comes for us, and not look back for anyone or anything. There is nothing we are leaving behind that is better or more important than being with Jesus. When that day comes, just like it came for Sodom, we have to be ready for our divine deliverance from this world. If we dare to look back, we could be left behind. Remember Lot’s wife, and don’t look back.
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