Submit or Fight

susannelson • March 6, 2015

Ephesians 5:22-24 -- Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

If you want to stir people's attention at church, there are a couple of topics you can speak about. One is tithes, because most people do not want to talk about their money. Another is the role of women in the household and the church. You will get a wide range of responses, and they will certainly be strong and vocal.

The problem most people have is with the word "submit". Our society looks at submissive people as being weak. If you are submissive, you are giving up your power and control. You'll be pushed around and walked all over. You no longer have self-worth or standing and are at the mercy of someone else. This perception has formed because of the reality that people in positions of power used their authority to hurt those they were supposed to be caring for. This is unfortunate, because they were not placed in their position to be tyrants or to be waited on hand and foot or to be put on a pedestal. They were put there to be leaders and to provide for others. If you continue reading in Ephesians, you read that husbands are supposed to love their wives the way that Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her. "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church." (Ephesians 5:28-29)

1 Peter 2:13-17 -- Therefore submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake, whether to the king as supreme, or to governors, as to those who are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and for the praise of those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men- as free, yet not using liberty as a cloak for vice, but as bondservants of God. Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.

Submit does mean to give over or yield to the power or authority of another. We submit to others every day when we stop at red lights, wait in line at the grocery store, pay our taxes, drive the speed limit, etc. Otherwise, chaos would ensue. Yet we struggle with the idea of being submissive. The American spirit is one rooted in independence and self-reliance. Our forefathers fought to gain freedom from the tyranny of England's rulers. The pioneers forged a new life in untamed and often dangerous territory. We are made of hearty stuff; we are not weak and submissive. We have been programmed to believe that we don't need anyone and we can do it all on our own. This mindset has to change, because the truth is that we are not weak when we submit to another's authority. Instead, we are positioning ourselves to be strengthened and supported. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

Romans 8:7 (NIV) -- The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so.

The opposite of submit is fight. It is a choice we have to make either we submit or we fight. In order to serve the Lord, we must submit ourselves to Him wholeheartedly. If we don't submit to God then we are fighting Him. I think this is one of the biggest barriers people encounter as they are coming to Christ and even during their Christian walk. It is difficult giving up control and yielding to someone bigger than ourselves. It's a tough thing admitting that you can't get through life on your own and that you need the love and the power of Christ to take over your life. Being submissive is not about being weak or allowing yourself to be treated badly. It is about trusting in something bigger. We know that we can trust Christ when we submit ourselves to Him. He gave His life so that we may live eternally with Him. He provides for all of our need and He knows the desires of our heart. He loves us and cares for us. You are not weak when you submit yourself to God, because you now are in His strength. Being submissive to God actually puts you in a position to receive His blessings.

Sadly, we cannot always be so trusting of people. We should honor and respect the position and the authority that goes with it, but we do not have to continue submitting ourselves to those who abuse their power and position and do not have our best interests at heart. Wives, submitting to your husband doesn't mean you become a doormat. Husbands, having a submissive wife doesn't mean you get to boss her around and micromanage her life. Marriage is representative of the relationship between the Church (the Bride) and Christ (the Bridegroom). If we are not careful, we can allow worldly thinking to prevent us from having the relationships that we are supposed to have with our spouse, our children, our friends, our co-workers and most importantly with our God. If you do not submit to God, then you will inevitably submit to something else. The idea that we are totally self-reliant is a lie and we will eventually find ourselves in need. Without God, we could find ourselves allowing other things to take over and control our lives.

James 4:1-3, 7 -- What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. . . . Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

When we overstep the lines of authority, we have chaos. If everyone on a job site tries to supervise, nothing will get done. If every soldier in a unit tries to command the mission, it will fail. If everybody in the church tries to be the pastor, we have no unity. On an airline flight, do you want the trained pilot at the wheel or other untrained members of the flight crew? Do you want the surgeon or the orderly wielding the scalpel during your operation? There are positions and powers and authority in place for a reason. There are leaders and followers and we need both. It doesn't mean that one is better than another. In one situation, you may be the leader, while in another you must be a follower and submit to another authority.

Regardless, we all must submit ourselves to God. When Solomon dedicated the temple that he had built for God, he didn't beat his chest in triumph or look to the people for applause. He knelt down before the assembly of Israel, humbly raised his hands to heaven and prayed. No one would ever describe Solomon as weak. He was a man who loved and submitted himself to God and as a result he was the wisest, wealthiest, most knowledgeable earthly king who ever was. While it's true that he faltered later in life because of his desire for foreign women, it serves as a reminder that to submit or fight is choice we have to make every day.

January 17, 2024
When you reach a certain age or stage in life, I think there is a natural tendency to look back on your life and reflect on how you got to where you are today. It makes you appreciate what you have. I had certainly found myself at that place in life, looking around and seeing how far we had come and how well we were doing. How good it was to feel secure and happy! It had not always been so easy. When we were first married, I was expecting to settle down in the place where I was born, among my own people, and raise a family, just as my mother had done. My husband had something completely different in mind. When he told me we were leaving our home to travel with his uncle to a new land, I was taken aback. Part of me was scared to leave the only place I had ever known, and the other part was caught up in excitement of it all. My husband believed that his uncle was hearing from the one true God, the Creator of the universe, and so he had also put his faith in this God. Because he believed, I believed. I can say that God did see us through on the journey, which was difficult at times. You try traveling with your family, a bunch of farm animals, and herdsmen. Even in the best of conditions, it was sweaty and smelly and exhausting. At one point, there was a famine in the land so bad that we had to travel to another area just to survive. Secretly, I questioned if we had made the wrong decision to leave home. There were many nights I cried myself to sleep. But, God brought us through it and we were able to return to the place God had called his uncle. All the while, God was blessing our family. My husband had acquired flocks and herdsman of his own. Pretty soon, there wasn’t enough room for all of us. Our herdsmen and his uncle’s herdsmen often quarreled. His uncle did not want these troubles to affect the family dynamic, so he suggested that we part ways and gave my husband first choice of which area to take. I was grateful to him for this kindness, and I must admit I was a little sad to leave what had become our family of wanderers. When I saw the beautiful, lush land where we were headed, I knew that the difficult journey had been worth it. We ended up living in the city of Sodom. We had settled in the community as strangers, but over time had built strong relationships with friends and associates. It wasn’t perfect, but what place is? What city doesn’t have crime or a seedier side? You learn what areas to stay out of and who to associate with if you want to stay out of trouble. We found our place there and raised our family. We had a nice home, and my husband was a leader in the community. Our daughters were to be married to fine young men and we had spent the better part of the year preparing them for their weddings. I also had gained the friendship and respect of other women, and we would often talk in the markets about our lives. I was so proud to talk about my husband and the upcoming weddings, and they were generous with their congratulations and well wishes. I couldn’t imagine our lives being any better. Our picture perfect life changed in less than 24 hours when two strangers arrived at the city gates. I guess it was no coincidence that my husband was sitting in the gateway of the city that evening. He invited them to spend the night in our home, which surprised me. I have say that there was something different about them. They weren’t the typical visitors who passed through our area who usually knew what to expect if they spent an evening in the town square, if you know what I mean. I knew our city had a reputation. I had always looked the other way, knowing things happened in the dark of night that were wrong in the eyes of God. I figured it was none of my business and it wasn’t my problem. I lived my life and they lived theirs. The events that happened that night happened so fast. It was surreal. I couldn’t believe it was happening. Our home was suddenly surrounded by men, young and old, who demanded we give our visitors over to them. My husband tried to reason with them. He even had the nerve to offer them our daughters, which really angered me at the time. I was ready to kill him myself. Quickly, the two visitors stepped in and rescued my husband from the crowd. Then the oddest thing happened. The men outside our home were suddenly struck blind and they went away, stumbling about. I was beginning to understand that these visitors of ours were more than they seemed. That’s when they told us they had come to destroy the city and we needed leave as soon as possible. My husband went to our daughter’s fiancés and begged them to come with us, telling them that God was going to destroy the city. They laughed, thinking he was joking. Who jokes about something like that? As the sun was getting ready to rise, the two men urged us to leave right away so that we would not be destroyed, too. It still had not registered with me that this was happening. Everything was quiet and still, so how could we be in imminent danger? How could we just leave? We needed to gather up food and clothing and things we would need to travel. We needed time to get ready. My husband and I just looked at each other, not knowing where to start. Suddenly, I felt a hand grab mine. One of the men had me by the hand and my husband by the other. The second man likewise had taken our daughters hands. They began rushing us out of the city, telling us to run and not look back or we would be swept away in the destruction. What destruction? I did not see or hear anything that made me think we were in danger. They wanted us to go to the mountains, but my husband begged to let us go to a smaller city far enough away from the danger. They agreed and said the destruction would begin as soon as we could get there. We ran for what seemed like forever. I didn’t know my old body could still do that. It still seemed like a bad dream, and that I would wake up soon and be back in my beautiful home. Then I heard the first rumble and felt the earth shake beneath my feet. The smell of smoke and something that smelled like rotten eggs filled my nostrils. I was getting tired from running. My husband and my girls where just ahead of me, entering the city of Zoar. I stopped to rest for a moment and I started to cry. How could we be here in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but the clothes on our back? Why did we have to leave our wonderful home where we had everything we needed? What about all the things we had collected for our daughters’ weddings? Why couldn’t we have saved some of those things. I wanted my life back. Without thinking, I turned around and looked at the city I had called home. Everyone and everything I knew was being pummeled in a rain of fire. As my family safely made it inside the little town of Zoar, I was still just on the outskirts. I stood there in the aftershocks of the fiery storm, grieving the life I had left behind. I realized my mistake too late as I felt the wave of heat and grit begin to take over my body. If only I had listened to the two men. If only I had trusted that God would take care of me in this situation, just as He had in the past. If only I had not looked back. Luke 17:32 - Remember Lot’s wife. If “Jesus wept” is the shortest verse in the Bible (John 11:35), then Luke 17:32 has to be the second shortest. More importantly, these words are in red, meaning Jesus spoke them. “Remember Lot’s wife, “ He cautions. “Lot’s wife” is all we know her by, and what we know about her is found in Genesis 19. Most people just remember that she turned into a pillar of salt. What we need to remember is why. The Hebrew word for “looked back” means more than just the physical act of glancing back over one’s shoulder. It means to regard, consider, or pay attention to something. She was not so much looking back with her eyes as she was with her heart. In that moment, as imagined in the passage above, she had more regard for what she was leaving behind than in the provision God had made ahead of her. She loved and appreciated the things of the world and her earthly treasures more than the divine deliverance that was provided to her. Even though she did not commit the same sins that had brought about this judgment, her heart was with the city and all things worldly, and so she suffered its same fate. In Luke 17, Jesus is cautioning the disciples, and us, to not make the same mistake. Luke 17:26-33 - 26 And as it was in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man: 27 They ate, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all. 28 Likewise as it was also in the days of Lot: They ate, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they built; 29 but on the day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven and destroyed them all. 30 Even so will it be in the day when the Son of Man is revealed. 31 “In that day, he who is on the housetop, and his goods are in the house, let him not come down to take them away. And likewise the one who is in the field, let him not turn back. 32 Remember Lot’s wife. 33 Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it. A quote attributed to Alexander Graham Bell says, “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” Such was the fate of Lot’s wife. Such could be our fate if we are not careful. We cannot harshly judge Lot’s wife, knowing how easily the same thing could happen to us. We can find ourselves living comfortably, confident in our position in life, and relying on our material possessions, if we are not careful to remember the true Provider. It isn’t a bad thing to have material possessions, but it is a wrong attitude if we value the things of the world more than we value the things of God.  When you hear someone say, “Jesus is coming soon”, do you laugh like Lot’s son-in-laws, or do you start looking up and watching for Him? Just like Lot tried to warn his son-in-laws, we need to let our family and friends know that He is coming. As Christians, we should be ready to drop everything when He comes for us, and not look back for anyone or anything. There is nothing we are leaving behind that is better or more important than being with Jesus. When that day comes, just like it came for Sodom, we have to be ready for our divine deliverance from this world. If we dare to look back, we could be left behind. Remember Lot’s wife, and don’t look back.
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