The Comfort of Friends

susannelson • April 17, 2015

Proverbs 17:17 -- A friend loves at all times,

I was reading Job again recently. It is starting to be one of those books I go to when I don't know where to start reading and I always seem to find something new or something that directs me where to go. A few years back I wrote a blog about Job's wife called "No Write Offs", which can be found on the blog page and is one of my favorites. Not knowing what to write this time around, I was led to look for inspiration in Job and found it.

Job was a man who worshipped and lived for God, which made him an immediate target for Satan who started by attacking Job's character. We know from reading 1 Peter 5:8 and Revelation 12:10 that Satan walks about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour and that he is the accuser of the brethren, accusing them before God day and night. The book of Job begins with God asking Satan where he has been. He replies that he has been walking the earth back and forth, and these scriptures tell us what he was up to. God asks him if he has considered His servant Job, because He knows that Job has done nothing which can be questioned. Satan, being who he is, still manages to come up with an accusation, and this is my paraphrase. "Sure he seems like a saint and it is no wonder. You have protected him and given him everything. Anyone would love you for that. But I bet if you took it all away from him, he would curse you and turn his back on you."

God knew Job's heart, so he allowed Satan to take away Job's children, livestock and servants. We can't imagine the pain of losing one child, let alone 10 at one time. Despite this great suffering, Job did not sin or blame God. When Satan comes before God again, He asks what he thinks about Job's integrity in the face of tragedy. Again, that sly old fox says, "Sure, but let him suffer in his own body and there is no way he can keep up this act. He will definitely curse you if that happens." So God allowed Satan to afflict Job, with the only limitation being he couldn't take Job's life. Satan afflicted Job with boils all over his body. I have never had a boil, but I know some people who have. Just the one boil was extremely painful and nasty to deal with. I can't imagine the agony of having them from the top of your head to the soles of you feet. Still, Job remained faithful to God.

Job 16:1-5 --Then Job answered and said: "I have heard many such things; Miserable comforters are you all!

This was the verse that jumped out at me when I was reading Job and got me thinking. Job is speaking to his three friends who had come to visit him. Their visit started with them weeping and tearing their robes upon seeing the condition of their friend. They sat with him for 7 days and nights saying nothing, just being there. It's great to have the comfort of friends who will just be there for you . . . their presence alone is a comfort. But then Job speaks and laments his condition, even cursing the day he was born. Instead of receiving comforting words or a hug or even prayer, his three friends start in on him. Just like Satan, they begin to attack his character. Surely Job's suffering is the result of some sin, they surmise. As Job said, they were not very good comforters. I had to agree with him and thought to myself what terrible friends they were. Immediately I felt a prick in my heart and heard "haven't you done the same thing?"

At one time or another we all have been guilty of thinking like Job's friends. When people come to us when they have a problem, how quick are we to point out what they've done that put them in that situation? Do we ever look at someone who is going through a tough time and wonder what they might have done to bring it on or wonder if God was trying to get their attention? Countless times over the years I have heard people ask "Well, did he or she smoke?" when told that someone had cancer. It is in our nature to want to find out the cause or find something or someone to blame when bad things happen. We even do it to ourselves. Why am I going through this? What did I do to deserve this? Bad things do happen to good people and to bad people alike. Matthew 5:45 says "for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust".

Job 6:14 --"To him who is afflicted, kindness should be shown by his friend, Even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty.

It isn't anyone's job to judge or condemn a person, and yet we do. Job told his friends that they should show him kindness, even if what they were saying about him were true, which it wasn't in this case. Job didn't need a lecture -- he needed the comfort of his friends. He needed someone to bring him fresh water and dressings for his injuries. He needed someone to bring him a meal. He needed someone to pray for and with him and encourage him. We need to do likewise for our friends in their time of need. If in the course of time, a friend confides that he or she has sinned, then we can pray for the person and prayerfully provide guidance. Galatians 6:1-2 says "Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." We can't come at a person from an "I told you so" or "you should have known better" attitude. Everything we do must be done with the love of Christ at its center.

Romans 14:13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.

Job's friends thought they were doing the right thing and that they were helping Job by telling him he must have sinned or done something to deserve such a great punishment. Job knew he was innocent, but having someone say that to you is painful whether it is true or not. Their comments could have easily incited Job to curse them or to curse God. If a friend comes to us for comfort only to find judgment or rebuke, then where is he to turn? We certainly have not pointed him toward the Lord. We may have weakened him further to where he is more susceptible to things like alcohol and drugs for escape and comfort. He may find that his friends who are not Christian are more comforting and supportive. Instead of character assassins, we need to be loving comforters. John 3:17 says "For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved."

Matthew 7:1-2 -- Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.

Job's friends had judged him a sinner with no evidence other than tragedy had struck him and his family. We cannot leap to those kind of conclusions based on casual observation. It may be true or it may not be true, but it isn't any of our business it is between God and that person. We need to show mercy and compassion to those who are suffering, regardless of the circumstances. God could have judged Job's friends as they had judged Job. He was angry with them for not speaking right about Him. They had tried to judge Job and speak to him like they knew what God was thinking and doing and tried to speak for God. God directed them to take their burnt offering to Job to be burnt and that Job would pray for them. He said he would accept Job's prayer for them instead of giving them what they really deserved. It's just like when God sees what Christ did for us and forgives us instead of giving us what we really deserve. Therefore, let us heed the words of 1 Peter 3:8 which says "Live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble."

Truly a friend should love at all times. As good as the comfort of friends may seem, it is nothing compared to what we receive from our great Comforter.

2 Corinthinas 1:3-5 -- Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ.

January 17, 2024
When you reach a certain age or stage in life, I think there is a natural tendency to look back on your life and reflect on how you got to where you are today. It makes you appreciate what you have. I had certainly found myself at that place in life, looking around and seeing how far we had come and how well we were doing. How good it was to feel secure and happy! It had not always been so easy. When we were first married, I was expecting to settle down in the place where I was born, among my own people, and raise a family, just as my mother had done. My husband had something completely different in mind. When he told me we were leaving our home to travel with his uncle to a new land, I was taken aback. Part of me was scared to leave the only place I had ever known, and the other part was caught up in excitement of it all. My husband believed that his uncle was hearing from the one true God, the Creator of the universe, and so he had also put his faith in this God. Because he believed, I believed. I can say that God did see us through on the journey, which was difficult at times. You try traveling with your family, a bunch of farm animals, and herdsmen. Even in the best of conditions, it was sweaty and smelly and exhausting. At one point, there was a famine in the land so bad that we had to travel to another area just to survive. Secretly, I questioned if we had made the wrong decision to leave home. There were many nights I cried myself to sleep. But, God brought us through it and we were able to return to the place God had called his uncle. All the while, God was blessing our family. My husband had acquired flocks and herdsman of his own. Pretty soon, there wasn’t enough room for all of us. Our herdsmen and his uncle’s herdsmen often quarreled. His uncle did not want these troubles to affect the family dynamic, so he suggested that we part ways and gave my husband first choice of which area to take. I was grateful to him for this kindness, and I must admit I was a little sad to leave what had become our family of wanderers. When I saw the beautiful, lush land where we were headed, I knew that the difficult journey had been worth it. We ended up living in the city of Sodom. We had settled in the community as strangers, but over time had built strong relationships with friends and associates. It wasn’t perfect, but what place is? What city doesn’t have crime or a seedier side? You learn what areas to stay out of and who to associate with if you want to stay out of trouble. We found our place there and raised our family. We had a nice home, and my husband was a leader in the community. Our daughters were to be married to fine young men and we had spent the better part of the year preparing them for their weddings. I also had gained the friendship and respect of other women, and we would often talk in the markets about our lives. I was so proud to talk about my husband and the upcoming weddings, and they were generous with their congratulations and well wishes. I couldn’t imagine our lives being any better. Our picture perfect life changed in less than 24 hours when two strangers arrived at the city gates. I guess it was no coincidence that my husband was sitting in the gateway of the city that evening. He invited them to spend the night in our home, which surprised me. I have say that there was something different about them. They weren’t the typical visitors who passed through our area who usually knew what to expect if they spent an evening in the town square, if you know what I mean. I knew our city had a reputation. I had always looked the other way, knowing things happened in the dark of night that were wrong in the eyes of God. I figured it was none of my business and it wasn’t my problem. I lived my life and they lived theirs. The events that happened that night happened so fast. It was surreal. I couldn’t believe it was happening. Our home was suddenly surrounded by men, young and old, who demanded we give our visitors over to them. My husband tried to reason with them. He even had the nerve to offer them our daughters, which really angered me at the time. I was ready to kill him myself. Quickly, the two visitors stepped in and rescued my husband from the crowd. Then the oddest thing happened. The men outside our home were suddenly struck blind and they went away, stumbling about. I was beginning to understand that these visitors of ours were more than they seemed. That’s when they told us they had come to destroy the city and we needed leave as soon as possible. My husband went to our daughter’s fiancés and begged them to come with us, telling them that God was going to destroy the city. They laughed, thinking he was joking. Who jokes about something like that? As the sun was getting ready to rise, the two men urged us to leave right away so that we would not be destroyed, too. It still had not registered with me that this was happening. Everything was quiet and still, so how could we be in imminent danger? How could we just leave? We needed to gather up food and clothing and things we would need to travel. We needed time to get ready. My husband and I just looked at each other, not knowing where to start. Suddenly, I felt a hand grab mine. One of the men had me by the hand and my husband by the other. The second man likewise had taken our daughters hands. They began rushing us out of the city, telling us to run and not look back or we would be swept away in the destruction. What destruction? I did not see or hear anything that made me think we were in danger. They wanted us to go to the mountains, but my husband begged to let us go to a smaller city far enough away from the danger. They agreed and said the destruction would begin as soon as we could get there. We ran for what seemed like forever. I didn’t know my old body could still do that. It still seemed like a bad dream, and that I would wake up soon and be back in my beautiful home. Then I heard the first rumble and felt the earth shake beneath my feet. The smell of smoke and something that smelled like rotten eggs filled my nostrils. I was getting tired from running. My husband and my girls where just ahead of me, entering the city of Zoar. I stopped to rest for a moment and I started to cry. How could we be here in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but the clothes on our back? Why did we have to leave our wonderful home where we had everything we needed? What about all the things we had collected for our daughters’ weddings? Why couldn’t we have saved some of those things. I wanted my life back. Without thinking, I turned around and looked at the city I had called home. Everyone and everything I knew was being pummeled in a rain of fire. As my family safely made it inside the little town of Zoar, I was still just on the outskirts. I stood there in the aftershocks of the fiery storm, grieving the life I had left behind. I realized my mistake too late as I felt the wave of heat and grit begin to take over my body. If only I had listened to the two men. If only I had trusted that God would take care of me in this situation, just as He had in the past. If only I had not looked back. Luke 17:32 - Remember Lot’s wife. If “Jesus wept” is the shortest verse in the Bible (John 11:35), then Luke 17:32 has to be the second shortest. More importantly, these words are in red, meaning Jesus spoke them. “Remember Lot’s wife, “ He cautions. “Lot’s wife” is all we know her by, and what we know about her is found in Genesis 19. Most people just remember that she turned into a pillar of salt. What we need to remember is why. The Hebrew word for “looked back” means more than just the physical act of glancing back over one’s shoulder. It means to regard, consider, or pay attention to something. She was not so much looking back with her eyes as she was with her heart. In that moment, as imagined in the passage above, she had more regard for what she was leaving behind than in the provision God had made ahead of her. She loved and appreciated the things of the world and her earthly treasures more than the divine deliverance that was provided to her. Even though she did not commit the same sins that had brought about this judgment, her heart was with the city and all things worldly, and so she suffered its same fate. In Luke 17, Jesus is cautioning the disciples, and us, to not make the same mistake. Luke 17:26-33 - 26 And as it was in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man: 27 They ate, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all. 28 Likewise as it was also in the days of Lot: They ate, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they built; 29 but on the day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven and destroyed them all. 30 Even so will it be in the day when the Son of Man is revealed. 31 “In that day, he who is on the housetop, and his goods are in the house, let him not come down to take them away. And likewise the one who is in the field, let him not turn back. 32 Remember Lot’s wife. 33 Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it. A quote attributed to Alexander Graham Bell says, “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” Such was the fate of Lot’s wife. Such could be our fate if we are not careful. We cannot harshly judge Lot’s wife, knowing how easily the same thing could happen to us. We can find ourselves living comfortably, confident in our position in life, and relying on our material possessions, if we are not careful to remember the true Provider. It isn’t a bad thing to have material possessions, but it is a wrong attitude if we value the things of the world more than we value the things of God.  When you hear someone say, “Jesus is coming soon”, do you laugh like Lot’s son-in-laws, or do you start looking up and watching for Him? Just like Lot tried to warn his son-in-laws, we need to let our family and friends know that He is coming. As Christians, we should be ready to drop everything when He comes for us, and not look back for anyone or anything. There is nothing we are leaving behind that is better or more important than being with Jesus. When that day comes, just like it came for Sodom, we have to be ready for our divine deliverance from this world. If we dare to look back, we could be left behind. Remember Lot’s wife, and don’t look back.
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By smnelson2103 June 1, 2022
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